Tag : jealousy

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Overcoming Jealousy: One Woman’s Personal Journey

The creator of the blog I Am a Love Addict (and on twitter at @iamaloveaddictgenerously shares her experiences with our Overcoming Jealousy 23-day online course. After taking the course, she says, "I feel like a new woman!"

What was your experience with jealousy before you took the course—why were you interested in taking it?

Too often we get caught in our own preconceived notions of how we believe things ought to be. In the past, I spent a lot of time trying to modify my feelings and actions in an attempt to influence someone else’s behavior. I believed I needed to act a certain way in order to receive the love and acknowledgement I desired from my partner. Through this belief, I lost authenticity. I must have appeared to have a split personality, as I could never be consistent with this facade.

"365 Days of Happiness" by Qiqi LiThe need to be myself, but the inability to do so is when jealousy peaked.

The truth is, playing so many different characters throughout my life had depleted my knowledge of self. So, I was drawn to partners whom seemingly were true to themselves and could possibly show me the way.

Much later, I realized their appearance of self-confidence was a disguise, masking more pain than I had ever experienced in my entire life. You can imagine my surprise when these choice partners were emotionally unavailable. Astonishment quickly turned into unhappiness, which encouraged more jealousy due to my dysfunctional way of thinking about relationships.

I believed I was not good enough, or that I must have done something wrong. Perhaps, they finally noticed my lack of self-confidence. My thoughts continuously revolved around, “it must be me”.

I chose to take the Overcoming Jealousy course to free myself from this emotional prison. I felt stuck.

What was something surprising you discovered about yourself through the course?

Surprisingly, I learned that in most cases I was more envious than jealous. I envied the qualities I believed my partner possessed.

The more distant my partner became, the more unattractive, unintelligent, uncertain, uninspiring, unimaginative…envious, I felt.

What was the most significant thing you learned through the course?

Through the course, I am learning to observe the actions of people (leaving all preconceived notions at the door). I am no longer seeking a partner that will define who I am.

I am also learning to forgive. Forgiving myself for the mistakes I’ve made is giving me strength to stand and not become a doormat in exchange for my shortcomings.

Finally, with the tools I have from this course, I am learning not to measure self-worth based on how good or bad someone else treats me.

"Spring Romance" by Qiqi LiNow that you’ve taken the course, how are you inspired to approach your relationships differently in the future?

I am confident that I will approach, romantic and platonic, relationships with a renewed outlook. I am truly excited about the type partner I will attract due to my new acceptance of who I am.

How might what you learned through the course affect other areas of your life?

Learning to put a positive spin on insecure feelings that may arise will grant me the spirit I need to keep moving forward in all aspects of life!

As I journey toward recovery from what is considered "love addiction," I am moving toward total positive mind, body and spirit health. I am proud to say that I have always taken pride in developing good/healthy eating habits. I do believe that food is medicine. Currently, I am working on incorporating, eating and fitness tips on my blog. This will help keep me on track, and perhaps bring others along for the ride. I look forward to continued growth and seeking education on healthy relationships with others, but most importantly myself.

Artwork courtesy Qiqi Li, www.etsy.com/shop/QiQiGallery.

In gratitude for your willingness to share your experiences so that others may also free themselves from this often-debilitating emotion. ~Mali & Joe, authors of The Soulmate Experience52 Prescriptions for Happiness, and the upcoming book The Soulmate Lover
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Overcoming Jealousy: A 23-Day Online Course

If you've ever experienced jealousy, our new Overcoming Jealousy course at the Daily OM is for you!

Jealousy can be emotionally intense and physically exhausting. We don't like to admit we're feeling jealous, we don't enjoy how we act when we are, and most of us don't have effective ways of handling it. Jealousy can overtake us in an instant and leave us feeling insecure, embarrassed, paralyzed, angry, or out of control. We can find ourselves consumed with fear, imagining the worst, and disconnected from the one we love.

Whether you're currently in a relationship or not, you'll come away from this course feeling confident about your ability to approach jealousy in the future in an empowered way. With the tools and insights you'll gain, you'll never look at jealousy in the same way again.

In this 23-day course, you will:

  • Learn the root causes of jealousy
  • Explore the powerful influences of your cultural conditioning
  • Examine your personal experience with jealousy
  • Identify where your feelings of jealousy originate
  • Understand why our typical responses to jealousy are ineffective and destructive
  • Cultivate a deep sense of compassion and self-love
  • Acquire eight essential keys to freeing yourself from the pain of jealousy
  • Use powerful healing, meditation, and visualization techniques to absorb and integrate what you've learned
  • Discover how to transform jealousy from an experience of disconnection to one of increased connection
  • Learn how to harness the energy of jealousy to increase the passion in your relationship

SPECIAL VIDEO FEATURE

In support of your healing and transformational journey, each day you will watch an interview with a real woman, Lisa Vincent, who shares her own experiences with that day's exploration as well as the insights she gained through it.

"I wanted to do this course with you," Lisa says, "because one of the most important and inspiring aspects of other courses and workshops I've attended was in the sharing of the participants. Their personal stories helped me to know that I wasn't alone and to discover even more about myself."

Hearing Lisa's deeply touching stories, and witnessing her transformational process, will reassure you that you really can radically transform your own relationship with jealousy.

Head on over to the Daily OM to enroll. Your first lesson will be available immediately.