Author : Mali & Joe

About the Author:

0 450

Love Your Body—In the Bathtub!

Lisa Vincent, who is featured in our Overcoming Jealousy course, graciously allowed us to share this story of her experience reading the "Loving Your Body" chapter of The Soulmate Experience in her bathtub. Learn more about Lisa, and her "Loving Your Body" workshops inspired by the book, at LisaVincentLifeCoaching.com.

Perfect timing. I had spent a very long work day at my computer and was totally exhausted. I wanted to drop immediately into bed. I was in the bathroom getting ready for the evening when I looked over and saw the bathtub. It called to me. I was staying at a friend’s place, and my home for the past two years only had a shower. I couldn’t think of anything I wanted to do more this exciting Friday night, than lay in that bathtub and read The Soulmate Experience.

I didn’t know when I began reading the second chapter, “Loving Your Body,” that I could not have created a better setting than lying naked in a pool of shallow, warm water, unable to avoid the entirety of my nakedness. Little did I know that during this reading session I would not only be physically naked, but that the exercises in this chapter would lovingly undress me into emotional nudity as well.

Loving my body was something I had been working toward for a very long time. I had spent most of my life being verbally and emotionally abusive to myself – mind, body, and spirit. I found the exercises in The Soulmate Experience that coach you into loving your body to be extremely powerful.

One of the exercises is to choose very specific body parts and study them: identify what role they play in your life, appreciate them, thank them, love them. I started, as the book suggests, with my hands. I sometimes looked at my hands in disdain because the skin that covers them is not as thick and resilient as it once was, causing wrinkles and the ability to see more clearly the veins that carry blood through my body. As I soaked in the tub, looking at the amazing hands that allowed me to type this very post, the hands that held my only child, the fingers that ran through past lovers’ hair, I felt immense gratitude and love. It was as if I separated ME from my hands. I looked at them as an entirely separate entity. Like an old, beloved friend.

As I studied my hands, I suddenly remembered sitting on my Grannie’s lap as a child, holding her hand in mine and tracing her pronounced veins with my finger. One of those times, my mother saw this and told me that what I was doing was rude. My grandmother must have loved and accepted her hands, or maybe it was me she loved and accepted, because she told my mother that it was all right and allowed me to continue tracing.

I had no idea, at this young age, that protruding veins were not considered beautiful. I loved this part of my Grannie’s body. I loved the way her smooth, shiny, veiny hands looked and felt in mine. Who decided that these features were anything less than magnificent? And when did I start believing it? If I thought of my Grannie as beautiful then, can I think of myself as beautiful now?

This series of thoughts extended to the rest of my body. The book mentions a woman being grateful for her soft belly that had once protected her unborn child. I contemplated this as I reclined naked, pushing into the softness of my own belly. I began to weep in gratitude for all of the parts of my body that worked perfectly together to create and deliver my own cherished child. This belly of mine represents the MIRACLE that occurred there. How could this piece of me, which played such an important part of something so miraculous, deserve anything less than my reverence?

If negative thoughts about my hands and my belly were lies, then what other lies had I believed? Is that small roll of flesh on my back, below my bra, really that bad? And what about my thighs? Is anything less than perfectly smooth flesh really disgusting? Would I have thought so as a child if no one had told me it was? Are my legs any less worthy of love, appreciation, and gratitude for carrying me around all of these years? Will my lover still enjoy having these legs wrapped around him during a passionate night of lovemaking? How could the distraction of not loving this part of my body inhibit that passion?

Do the imperfections of these body parts mean that I am not sexy? Oh no, folks. I AM SEXY. The Soulmate Experience explains a mirror exercise. The goal in this exercise is to see your body as a whole. Although I did not immediately practice this, I can tell you that it works. In my Bikram yoga practice, I come face-to-face with myself in the mirror, in form-fitting clothes, and watch myself twist into very interesting positions on a regular basis. When I first started this practice, I was obsessed with what I saw as the flaws of my individual body parts. Then, one day, I saw MYSELF. I was struck by the realization of my beautiful form. I stood in awe at the awareness of my body as a whole. Now, when I pass a full-length mirror, I make it a point to stop and appreciate the shape of my sexy body.

The “Loving Your Body” chapter does not focus only on appearance; I just strongly relate to that. It also encourages you to care for yourself. Listen to your body. Attend to its physical needs. Develop a caring, loving relationship with yourself.

I knew before reading the “Loving Your Body” chapter of The Soulmate Experience that it is important to care for, love, and accept my body, but following the exercises encouraged me to take the time necessary to deeply consider the concepts within. The awakening I had around the way I felt toward my body was invaluable. My body is my home. It’s where I live. Shouldn’t we all be comfortable, happy, and at peace in our own homes?

Lisa Vincent is a life coach and co-developed the online course Overcoming Jealousy. Contact her through TwitterFacebook, or her website for a free 20-minute consultation to see how she can help you to love your body, embrace a healthy lifestyle, quiet self-judgement and criticism, overcome jealousy, insecurity, or loneliness, release unhealthy partnerships, produce loving relationships, and create a more peaceful, joyful experience of life.

Mali & Joe are the authors of The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships and creators of Mantras for Making Love and Overcoming Jealousy.

1 1349

Mantras for Making Love

The author of this tender letter, the very first review of our brand new CD download, Mantras for Making Love, has graciously allowed us to share it with you.

As far as sexual experiences go, mine have been far from pleasant… a lifetime of sexual abuse. Sex has NEVER been pleasurable, at all. I have never experienced an orgasm.

Listening to Mantras for Making Love was a lesson for me, a long-awaited lesson. Obviously I already knew that the experiences that I have had in life were not accepted in society as normal. I wasn’t shut off from the outside world: I had friends, heard them talk about their relationships and sex lives etc., so it’s not that I was naïve enough to not know the difference but [the abuse I endured] was MY norm and I had no way to break that norm…

My point here is that listening to the mantras opened up a whole new world for me that I never knew existed. “Honor and pleasure to explore your desires with you” — for me sex was always about the other person, what they desired, them taking what they wanted. I got to the point where I left my body, let them do what they wanted and pretended it wasn’t happening. It was over quicker that way and I was hurt less.

The words “spiritual connection through our physical connection” is a foreign concept to me but one that sounds so spiritually and physically safe that even I would want to do it! The choice of phrases is remarkable. “In this loving space you are safe to try out being anyone with me,” “I am here to create a brand new experience with you tonight,” “my deepest desire is for you to open up and know yourself as a fully sexual man/woman,” “intention for our souls to unite”…

It doesn’t matter what stage of a relationship a couple is in, these mantras will be of use to them. Old, young, starting out in a relationship, together for a lifetime, trying to reconnect or reclaim their passion. These mantras will make people feel comfortable, at ease, will give them focus, encourage a feeling of openness and safety in the relationship, and improve communication.

I swore I would never have a physical relationship with anyone, ever again. What I just listened to makes me want to experience that. It has dispelled much of my fear. It makes me believe that sex and intimacy can be a pleasurable and enjoyable experience. It makes me believe that a physical connection is so much more than just the act of intercourse and that spirit and soul have as much to do with it as anatomy, if not more. It makes me believe that I am worthy of experiencing that connection with someone and also that it is not as impossible as I allowed myself to believe that it was.

After listening to it, I know that I need to do work to fix myself. I am not as emotionally or physically broken as I thought I was. Mantras for Making Love is something I will use when I find myself ready to explore the physical side of a relationship with someone. It is something I believe will help me create a safe place in which to move forward and something that will be of immense help to me in creating, experiencing, maintaining and enjoying a healthy physical relationship.

There is no doubt in my mind or in my heart that the magic people discover through you two will stay in their hearts and that the water of life will never be still; the ripples will continue forever.

Mantras for Making Love—soul-opening mantras and affirmations to create a space for profound intimacy and infuse your lovemaking with more connection, more passion, and more pleasure—is available here.
5 684

Soulful Reflections from Love Story

These words are a gift from the provocative and prolific Love Story on Facebook.

My soul's purpose is to lead me to people, places and circumstances that will get me to grow and force me to become more. Your soul knows you better than you do; it knows what is important to you. Your soul knows what it will take to get you to act and it leads you to that. Your soul will lead you to painful situations, because it knows it is stoking your desires. As you continue to run into the same problems over and over again, your soul will continue to bring you more and more pain until you do something about it. It doesn't care how long it takes; it knows it has forever and it never gets frustrated because it knows you eventually will respond.

Our soul seeks out and intentionally leads us to problems, because it knows we need their gifts.

The place where I have felt the most in touch with my soul is not a physical place, but a non-physical state of grace. It is a soul connection. It can be likened to an awakened meditative state where everything feels so right. In this state you understand that everything IS right. Worry and fear become impossible to even understand in this place.

Let me give you an example of this intelligent form of energy. Do you remember what it was like when you were learning how to ride a bike? With intense concentration you would move the handlebars from left to right very quickly in an attempt to keep yourself from falling. Now to describe what happens three weeks later: you get on and ride with no concentration and not even a thought of where, or of how to move the handlebars. At this point YOU are no longer riding the bike. Through repetition, you trained this energy how to ride and now it rides for you.

In this state, the soul takes over the mind and directs your body without consciousness.

The way to get to this place, or more accurately, this state of grace, is to "allow" the flow of divine energy through you by relaxing from the inside. I started out in an almost traditional form of meditation with my eyes closed and my wrists facing the ceiling but while laying down. Now I strive to live every waking moment this way. You do everything better when you let your soul take over.

No need to ever concentrate on your breathing or to try to breathe differently in your meditation; just allow the divine energy you just let in to breath you.

0 570

Overcoming Jealousy: A 23-Day Online Course

If you've ever experienced jealousy, our new Overcoming Jealousy course at the Daily OM is for you!

Jealousy can be emotionally intense and physically exhausting. We don't like to admit we're feeling jealous, we don't enjoy how we act when we are, and most of us don't have effective ways of handling it. Jealousy can overtake us in an instant and leave us feeling insecure, embarrassed, paralyzed, angry, or out of control. We can find ourselves consumed with fear, imagining the worst, and disconnected from the one we love.

Whether you're currently in a relationship or not, you'll come away from this course feeling confident about your ability to approach jealousy in the future in an empowered way. With the tools and insights you'll gain, you'll never look at jealousy in the same way again.

In this 23-day course, you will:

  • Learn the root causes of jealousy
  • Explore the powerful influences of your cultural conditioning
  • Examine your personal experience with jealousy
  • Identify where your feelings of jealousy originate
  • Understand why our typical responses to jealousy are ineffective and destructive
  • Cultivate a deep sense of compassion and self-love
  • Acquire eight essential keys to freeing yourself from the pain of jealousy
  • Use powerful healing, meditation, and visualization techniques to absorb and integrate what you've learned
  • Discover how to transform jealousy from an experience of disconnection to one of increased connection
  • Learn how to harness the energy of jealousy to increase the passion in your relationship

SPECIAL VIDEO FEATURE

In support of your healing and transformational journey, each day you will watch an interview with a real woman, Lisa Vincent, who shares her own experiences with that day's exploration as well as the insights she gained through it.

"I wanted to do this course with you," Lisa says, "because one of the most important and inspiring aspects of other courses and workshops I've attended was in the sharing of the participants. Their personal stories helped me to know that I wasn't alone and to discover even more about myself."

Hearing Lisa's deeply touching stories, and witnessing her transformational process, will reassure you that you really can radically transform your own relationship with jealousy.

Head on over to the Daily OM to enroll. Your first lesson will be available immediately.

0 497

Unstuffed: The Incredible Fullness of Just Being

This guest post and paintings are the work of Leslie Escoto, host of Tell a Story Online

I have given in to that enticing voice of materialism many times. I have had the wants, the I-gotta-have-it, the Let-me-at-it, the It-is-all-about-stuff. Just come look at my home and you immediately can see that I’ve been there and my world is very stuffy. I have treasures, and heirlooms, and art, and music, and books, books, books and of course the proverbial junk… but good junk… important junk… the “I might need that some day junk.” My stuff are my old friends…they sit with me, never saying a word, but always eager to give me comfort when I need it. My big, puffy, reading chair upholstered in a Parisian street scene cuddles me when I am lost in another world seen through the eyes of a good writer. My angel collection, secreted in a curio cabinet, but always watching over me and helping me through the dark times. My hand me down piano, sitting quietly but always reminding me of history and of those who have passed before me.

I love my stuff. I have always loved my stuff and I have actually, believe it or not, gathered more stuff as I have traveled my life journey. Memories of family, of friends, of times, of travels, of adventures, of history, of those incredibly special moments in one’s life that are to be treasured and kept forever, and having something material helps keep these memories alive. I always have had more than enough stuff to provide memories but it seemed enough was never enough and my stuff kept growing, and multiplying, and taking over my space, my life… but who needed a life when I had stuff?

But not so long ago, I came to a place on the path I was traveling that knocked me to my stuffy core…I had to say goodbye to much of my stuff. Through no fault of the stuff but through my own pursuit of material wealth, of keeping up appearances, of wanting to be part of the stuffy crowd, I over indulged and the weight of all the stuff was too much to carry and it and I went crashing to the ground, all of us breaking into a million tiny pieces. I was devastated and immediately thought about what people would think of me… I let my stuff go… I betrayed my stuff… I was weak… I was a loser of stuff.

It took me a long time to peel myself off the floor of nothing. "How can one go on without stuff?" I asked myself. What will I do without things, without junk, just plain without? I agonized over this and hid for many a day, hid inside myself as I had no stuff behind which to hide. I cowered in shame that I had been such a horrible caretaker of all the stuff that had trusted me to keep them safe and secure in my home of things. I didn’t know where to turn, where to go… I needed to find more stuff to love and love me but where, how?

I searched high and low for an answer about getting over the devastating loss of stuff. I went to places where stuff can be found and asked about how to find peace without it. I roamed through areas of other peoples’ stuff, reaching out with hesitation and asking, “May I simply touch your stuff? I lost mine and I need to feel again.” I was now a stranger in a strange land… I had once lived there but now was alone in an empty wilderness of nothing.

And then, like a bolt of lightning I found an answer, a very simple answer… an answer I found in this comment by an anonymous human being who understood my pain and loneliness about my stuff but provided a way out of stuffiness.

“There is something perverse about more than enough. When we have more, it is never enough. It is always somewhere out there, just out of reach. The more we acquire, the more elusive enough becomes.” Yes!!!!!! That was it. Stuff was a self-fulfilling prophecy… when we had it we wanted more of it and stuff bred stuff and more stuff and even more stuff. It is only when we lose our stuff that we know that we have enough, that the stuff we must cherish and protect and love is the stuff inside us, the stuff we are made of, the stuff of heroes, and patriots, and doers, and givers, and lovers.

So yes, I have accumulated more stuff and it still gives me pleasure and comfort, and I look around and admire my stuff and touch it, and care for it, and love it. But what I love more is me… the stuff from which I am made, my most prized possessions… my heart, spirit, and soul.

So here’s what I do now… I am not afraid of losing stuff, in fact, I find great joy in giving it away. I often pick out one favorite item of my stuff, I hold for a brief moment, enjoying it, loving it and then I give it away to someone who has little or no stuff. And my stuff now has a new home, will become a cherished possession, will be taken care of, kept safe, appreciated and fill another’s heart with the joy of stuff.